Dearest the one who was once closest to my heart,
This is for you who I've held so dear and closely to my heart for almost a decade. Whether you see this or not, this will be the last.
Sometimes I still find it a little hard to believe you're married now, with kids, even. And it happened not too long after I told you as much as I loved you I couldn't give you anything more than a simple friendship, which you didn't want. So to our separate ways we went.
Before it all went down the drain, there was an undeniable mutual attraction, I was swayed into your absurd ideas of being the mother of your children someday. I loved how you were always talking about the future, the basis principles of your ideals and well actually, just about anything.
Have you ever realised how different we were? You were such a dork; but that is part of what makes you so charming, and I just had a lot crazy ideas with my photography and poetry which never seemed like the things you could appreciate. I loved you anyway, because you put up with my crazies and you cut the drama short.
You were a man who only believed in what he can see, which of course goes without saying, was one of our differences. Nevertheless, you've always respected that. Ironically this was one of the causes of our fall outs, just as soon as principles were compromised.
I have disposed of everything tangible that we've shared, but the memories will be cherished and carried to my grave. Some of it, anyway. For most parts, you've ruined me...but I don't hold it against you. Those things, as stupid as they were, were of my own choices as well, even if there are some who would beg to differ.
Maybe if I didn't always have cold feet, things would turn out differently. Let's be real; right now if you'd ask me again, there is the tiniest possibility that I would say yes.
I don't think I will ever stop loving you. Differently, but not any less. A privilege belonging to first loves, I suppose. And I think this is the part where I say the ever cliche, "I deserve better", but the truth is I've already had the best.
Love,
the one that got away.
